I have been attempting to write this blog since last week, but unfortunately my final exams were on the way. But I dont think this is the good time to blog about this either. Anyhow, no matter what comes out of this is nothing but irrational suppressed thoughts. I dont expect anyone to read this anyway so the hell I care about the things I'll put here. Enough of the nonsense (but I guess this whole thing is a nonsense) haha.
The title is so because there is this guy that I met 9 years ago. Actually, we werent introduced formally but I have known him since then because of you know, sources. hahaha. So. I cant remember exactly where I first saw him but I think it's in the gym. I was still studying in Trinitas School (now Trinitas College) that time. Okay he was cute, very fair, but not so tall, and yet all of us in my barkada were so crazy about him. We were so young back then but we were already "kinikilig" whenever we see him. But I was a grade 4 then so I was not really that young at all. And then...all I can remember is that I was madly crazy over him like...oh you dont have to know how. hahaha. I can say that I WAS crazy for him that time cause of my diary entries that I have written those times. As far as I can remember, I had this friend of mine who offered me to introduce the guy to me. I regretted my response that time cause I said No. I didnt have enough courage to face him. But now that's the decision I regret the most. So to make this very long story short, we didnt meet, I left TS and I forget about him. I graduated in Elem without thinking about him and I entered hs in UST still not thinking about him unless I reopen my old diary and read my old entries. But everytime I do, I never fail to ask myself, "Nasan na kaya siya ngayon?" while I was laughing at my funny immature entries about him. And sometimes I wonder if I could still see him. But I know that's way too impossible so I understand that Mark Magboo will always be just one of my treasured memories in Trinitas College. It wasnt that hard to forget cause I found puppy loves along the way. ahahaha..Anyway, so I entered USTHS and when the time comes that we have to choose the program we prefer in college, I was left undecided because my parents were against my first decision which was to take BS Bio or Education. So, I just wrote on the app form BS Nursing as my first choice (because they said it was in demand) and BS Medical Technology as my second although I have no idea what that program is. I just didnt have the choice so I just used my sense of humor. Since it sounds like medicine, and I want to take up Med, I might as well take it as my premed. I failed to enter Nursing but I got in to MedTech. So now Im in the course where I have totally no idea what I was taking up. But here's what happened. First year second sem, I got totally bored in the condo we were renting, that was late at night, but I dont feel sleepy so I dug in in those college sort of newspapers. There were interesting articles but there is this page that I was ignoring everytime I read the paper (I read it everytime Im bored -_-). Because I have been reading this paper a few times already, I look closer at the articles everytime. I mean I read them carefully. So this black page with photos and names caught my attention. I was looking at the photos one by one scrutinizing what do those photos symbolize and the person who took it. And to my biggest surprise, I saw the name Mark Magboo. I didnt think that it might just be another person with same name as his. I already assumed that it was HIM. My heart was like thumping too hard, my eyes and mouth were too wide open cause of surprise. I wanted to scream but I cant (or else im dead haha). I was screaming voiceless actually.haha. Good thing my mom and siblings were already asleep that time or else they might think that I was getting crazy again or the worst thing is that they'll get curious and ask me about it. haha. Yeah. I was acting really crazy it could start an earthquake. joke. :P So...I was there, sitting in the corner, thinking. Dont know how to explain what I was feeling whether I felt happy, shocked, excited or whatever. So finally I found out that it was really him through facebook. Yes. My ever loyal partner for searching a long lost friend or for searching a... :) But never once did I see him in UST during his intern years. But I felt stupid while walking within the walls of UST for four years that time without even knowing that he was also there. I was really like "oooohh sayang naman!" what can I still do now, I cannot see him for his schedule was not already in the building. Most of it are in the hospital. I have always attempted to pass by his room every Tuesday but I never saw him. What? He's hiding from me?! hahaha..joke :P But no. I never saw him. I did saw him outside the building when I was hanging with my friends at the quadri but I only saw his back. :( He had passed by when I realized that...hmm. So I know that it would be his graduation March 2010 that time. Anyway I was still not over the drummer guy that time so I wasnt really crazy at all for him. I just wanted to see him and know what he looked like. After that year, I was like my 4th grade self. Still wanting to see him but unfortunately I cant. So thats 9 years already right? After 9 long years... :O Second year came and I was totally over him (again). It was class picture taking time when 3 medicine guys passed by and said hi to our adviser. Hmm...he shocked me again. There he was walking by in his MEDICINE uniform. WHAT THE HELL?!! :(( I was jumping up and down with my voice over towering the Statue of Liberty telling my friends that my "childhood" crush just passed us by. And I think I already told them that he also took Med Tech. Not Pharmacy. Medical Technology. He was from AMT by the way.
So yeah. Now hes an incoming 2nd year Med while Im 3rd year in my course. And I dont know how it started again, maybe I was just bored with my lovelife but I am again so crazy over him. And it kind of frustrates me because we are surrounded by a bunch of common friends and yet, I am still anonymous to him. Although I think he already knew my face because of the few circumstances that had happened just a few weeks ago. But still, my anonymity to him is bugging me LIKE HELL!!! I have asked for advice about this matter but I think it isnt working for me. Or did I just fall too short several times thats why my mind is closed? I dont know. Well some may say that its destiny. But how the fuck will it become destiny if until the end of the story we still havent found each other? But how can we also say that its a coincidence when people says nothing happens accidentally cause everything has a reason? Or maybe the latter is true but I just missed thinking about what the REAL reason is. Whatever it may be, this thing and this guy is not giving me any peace of mind. I hate it but I love it. See it's crazy. Told yah. hahaha...Now Im lost. I dont know what will happen next. Why do we have to be in the same field??! OHH..this is making me really..ugh. >:O Oh yeah finally Im done with this blog. -_-
