Thursday, December 26, 2013

You know too well the ending is not a QUESTION MARK

This is just a part from a journal entry I wrote few months ago. Surprisingly, I find it genuinely stupid. A proof that I am over it. HAHA



Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Made it. Nailed it.

This is the very reason why we started studying since we were a child. We are headed towards this. Well, most of us. But this blog is not going to be about the long and boring story of my childhood school life, nor the narration of my very tedious college life. This will just be about THE END. Which pretty much is the BEGINNING of REALITY.




After graduation, the next step I have to deal with (like a few of my batchmates) is the LICENSURE EXAM. Things did not go pretty much my own way here, though. The original plan was to enter med school, then take the Board exams. But God said, NO.  So, I had no choice but to take the Boards first and try to get in the following school year.

Journey to the 31st of August was not easy. And the mental torture is like aaarrghhh...I can't even describe it in words. The weird dreams at night and those sabaw moments. It's funny when you look back, though. 




We started in the review center in June and it was alright at first. We got lazier and kind of saturated at the end. And it was harder to fight temptations not to study for their exams because we weren't really getting any diploma after we finish the review. 


Cause today I don't feel like doing anything...


The intense urge of the "i really need to study now"  came in like 2nd week of August. Yeah, it's like we were trained to cram in school. But that was how we did college. Pretty much cramming for the exam the night before. But we couldn't do that for the boards. Although, I must admit that I did slightly cram the night of my birthday...


Yep. The day before the big day was my birthday. And luckily, 2, 3 days before the exam, we were transferring to another abode. And that couldn't get any more hassle-er. Reviewing in the middle of all the noise and chaos around the unit. 

But...I made it through. And I am always grateful for that. Despite all the long breaks and lazy moments, and that hassle day, I got through! So for anyone facing the same thing right now, just have FAITH! If He brought you to it, He will surely bring you through it! 


Friday, July 26, 2013

Absolute Boyfriend in Real Life? (SPOILER ALERT!! )

Is it really possible for an absolute boyfriend to exist? Could there really be a perfect boyfriend for all the girls? These kind of questions hit me when I saw the trailer of the Taiwanese romcom series Absolute Boyfriend


Before I get to the corny parts of this blog, I am going to share a short synopsis of the TV series. 




There was this girl named Guan Xiaofei who never had a boyfriend and was constantly rejected by the guys she likes. Since she was a little girl, this same pattern occurs over and over again when one day, a mysterious (and extremely gorgeous hihi) stranger came by and talked to her. Turns out, this stranger was a ghost. Anyway, there came a time when the last guy who rejected her made her think about everything that is great that can be experienced in a relationship and why she gets rejected by every guy that she liked. But destiny was so kind to her that it gave her the most exceptional kind of relationship she never thought she'd have. She met this weird salesman who gave her what she wanted for so long. A boyfriend. The man was working for  secret company who designs robots to be used as a perfect boyfriend. Blah blah blah...this robot was named Nai Te later on by Xiaofei and in the unexpected turn of events, this robot gradually gained self-awareness making him more and more like a human being because of Xiaofei. He was indeed perfect for Xiaofei because she customized him to be perfect. He's absolutely perfect. He was taken for granted at first. But this guy's persistent. He really wanted Xiaofei to be happy so he tried so hard to do everything to make her happy. But human beings are very complex. You can never tell. What can make you happy at the moment can also make you upset in some other time. (Anyway, this blog is getting too long... -__-) Jumping onto the latter parts, Nai Te was slowly malfunctioning because of becoming more human everyday. He was kind of making memories and feelings of his own. He was brought back to the company to get fixed but in order to function normally again, the experts had to reset him and erase all of his past memories with Xiaofei. But as a robot who has been developing human emotions, he was resisting the reset of the computer. Then Xiaofei visited him in the lab and she saw a picture of the mysterious stranger in her dreams. Turns out, the stranger whose looks was patterned for Nai Te was the founder's son and was dead a long time ago. When she got to talk to him, she told Nai Te to forget about her but she was only protecting him from being completely dead. When Nai Te realized her intention, in the end, he escaped from the laboratory and chose to stay with Xiaofei even though he knew that he will stop functioning soon. What Nai Te didn't know is that Xiaofei knew everything about Nai Te's condition when she overheard him talking about it with her bestfriend. In order to make the most of his remaining days, she pretended not to know about it and did everything that would make both of them happy.  They were so much happier when they got back together. They even decided to get married. 2 days before the wedding, Nai Te was experiencing severe malfunctioning like falling asleep too often and he even got blinded for a few minutes. On the night before their wedding day, Nai Te decided to leave Xiaofei because he didn't want her to see him die. But before he could leave the ring, Xiaofei appeared and asked if they could practice the ceremony. When Xiaofei read the parts of the priest to Nai Te, asking him if he could protect her and all that stuff asked to a groom, he couldn't say I DO. And then she told her everything. Then after that he "fell asleep" completely. Few hours later, the company manager came and placed Nai Te back in his capsule to be brought back to the lab. When Zhong Shi, Xiaofei's childhood friend, came, he said that he thought Nai Te still have 10 more seconds to live (because he was researching in their company laboratory on how to fix Nai Te cause he wanted to make Xiaofei happy) although the electricity is not enough to make him function fully. Just enough to let him hear everything. So Xiaofei talked to him and told him I Love You in korean. This was also the last thing he said to her last time he blacked out. After she told him that, a tear fell from his right eye. Which was kind of amazing cause robots don't ever cry. Then the 10 second countdown in his database was shown, showing a flashback of his happy memories with Xiaofei. And that was his last "breath". 

Well, the ending got me crying...almost sobbing. I got really heart broken. But anyway it was just a tv program. haha 


Anyways...

I think, there is really no perfect boyfriend at all. Because basically, no human is perfect. That thing was a robot. A customizable robot. We can't customize people. And besides that, it was a tv program. HAHAHA so anything can happen.


In real life...

It is only us who can decide what perfect IS for us. We have different preferences. But most of the time, these preferences doesn't really come to us. We have this sort of belief (in the Philippines) that the person you're going to end up with is the kind of person you hate. I don't really see the logic in this thing, but it's LOVE. It doesn't need logic! 

And I think we do not really need to be searching for the perfect ONE. The only thing that we should do is to prepare ourselves to be the perfect one to the person we are going to meet in the future. And that's a lot easier I guess. haha 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

THOUGHTS ABOUT PCMC MT INTERNSHIP AFTER 5 MONTH STAY :)

This is a super long over due blog. I dont really intend to write about how I ended my stay there and how I was proven wrong by my experience. But i figured, if I have blogged about the start, I might as well write about the ending.

Off topic...

But I realized: why do I even have a blogging site when nobody in the internet world cares about what I think? I don't really know why I am still doing this. Why am I not stopping myself from typing and closing this window? Cause I fuckin want to write about anything. I dont really need everyone to like what I put in this site. I just want to let some thoughts out whenever i feel like blogging. 

Anyways.. :))

PCMC ended last Sept 30 2012. So, I am just being so random that I decided to write about this now, 7 months after it ended. But it is somehow memorable that I can still rememeber a few things that happened that day. Well, it was a pretty normal day. We were toxic as usual. But that day ALMOST became a letdown. For me, at least. And it was because of one reason. Being on our last day in the awesome hospital was already sad itself. But this reason made my last day even sadder. The night before that, I was able to talk to "someone" on facebook chat. And yada yada yada, this person told me that he can't make it to duty the next day, which was our last day, cause he needs to fetch his father from the airport (not sure if I remembered it right haha). And of course I had to play it cool cause I really didn't have any enough reason to get upset (except for the fact that I liked this guy so much, and he's the reason why my every duty [when he is present] becomes thrilling). And so I tried to distract myself from getting upset (which was somehow annoyingly unavoidable) by thinking about how to enjoy my last duty and to make it memorable. But thinking about spending the last day without even being able to take a whiff of his perfume is like...ugh. It did become memorable in a very unexpected way, though, because of what happened next. So, I came to duty with a long face, trying hard to pull off a smile. But I still didn't get how and why I felt that much heavy inside. Like lifting a 50 kilogram sack of rice heavy. I'm not even exaggerating. It was really a heavy feeling. And then like a normal day would go, I 'd wear my labgown, grab some gloves, tie my hair up, chat a little with cointerns in the hallway, get my time card from the box, sign on the attendance, have my card signed by the staff, and then finally go to my post and start working. But, somehwere in between my routine, a fucking appearance shocked me. I was roaming around the lab, waiting for the others to finish writing on the attendance sheet so we could give it to a staff to sign it, when a guy I wasn't expecting came in for duty. OH...MY...FUCKING...GOD. What a tricky bastard. Right from the moment I saw him enter the freakin door in his super vibrant green lacoste polo shirt up until where he is about to turn his back from me, I was literally just staring at him with wide eyes and some odd facial expression which I can't exactly describe since I can't really see myself without a mirror. And so, I instinctively went inside the microbiology section, feeling VERY confused, then I bursted out into tears, as secretly as I possibly could. I wasn't even able to speak at first so I just hugged my bestfriend. Of course my cointerns would ask why I was crying so I told them the shorter story. Thank God there were just a few of them inside. After that, my day went pretty normal but i felt so much better. Although, I don't really know if he tricked me, or some plans were changed. I dont know. Cause the night that we chatted, he was sure that cant come. He was even a bit disappointed. But the annoying truth to this is that I will never be able to know what really happened why he showed up that day when he's not supposed to. 

Then for the last few hours of my duty, I decided to spend it with my friends inside the main lab. We had alot fun and we even had a count down. We also got our batch shirt so we took the oppurtunity to wear them and take pictures with the staff. It was really just fun at the end of the day. Few girls cried, which was already expected. But nobody cried like an hour before 5 or even after 5. Haha everybody was so jolly and a bit sad at the same time. In my case, I was in my normal high energy mood. And that was because it hasnt sunk in yet that it was our last day. Reality  hit me on my frst day in my second in. EAMC. bacte section. And that is another story...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

KITKAT BITES


An idea just hit me. This phrase "Siguro, kung walang girlfriend un, liligawan ka nun." tears me apart. Should I be flattered with that or not? Not that I believe it and hope something comes out from it. Truth is, I really don't know why people say that to me. I've heard it like for a million times. Yeah sure it is something I may want to happen. But that’s not how life is. And I can’t do anything but to accept it. It is sad, but we just have to trust His plans.

SPOILER ALERT.

I just remembered this movie that I watched recently. It’s called Liberal Arts starring Josh Radnar and Elizabeth Olsen. No, it’s not an Oscar awarded movie but it has a lot of lessons. I had my own version of the ending cause I wasn’t satisfied. It was not the ending I was expecting but as I said, it’s not how it works. I thought that Jesse (Josh) would end up with Zibby (Elizabeth). But they didn’t cause he realized he’s too old for her although they have the same interests. Instead he ended up with the librarian (Elizabeth Reaser). They are age appropriate and they do have the same interests as well. Although he likes Zibby a lot, his morality tells him that they aren’t right for each other.


My lesson earned? Liking somebody is not enough. If you’re not for each other, then nothing could be great enough to have you ending up together. If it’s not meant to be, it won’t happen. He has plans. We just have to trust Him.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Happy Valentines Day! :)



Just wanted to greet everyone  Happy Valentines/Single awareness Day! Well it is both for me..not that I have a special someone. But who says only couples can celebrate Vday?! 

On facebook, especially yesterday, I can see only two things. It's either someone loving the valentine season or one who's very bitter about it. Can't say I've been both though cause I was bitter at first. But then I realized why should I be? I have every reason not to be. It only takes the right mindset to be happy on valentine's day. Who says you can't celebrate it with friends? nor with your family? I had a blast cause we watched the Foursome concert(Martin/Pops,Ogie/Regine) at the Arena. Yeah I know they're a bit for oldies but they're really great. 

Although it has helped me a lot to stay cool when I decided to skip duty and stay at home and watch Zac Efron movies. HAHAHA I was not able to see corny traditional couples going on a date while the girl is carrying her bouquet and teddy bear/cake. haha But I know I'm gonna have my own time. And I promise myself it's not going to be an ordinary traditional one. I've been patiently waiting for it for a pretty long time so I think I deserve a little more than the usual. You think? :)) Just thinking about this, I can imagine how it would be hard for the guy HAHAHA

I can't help but feel the pressure though because I have A LOT of friends who goes like "woke up to this" or "so kilig" yada yada yada on the photo caption of the flowers and gifts they received. But I'm real happy for them. So yeah...just sharin my thoughts about Feb 14. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Stupid things when that cycle of the month comes...

It is super stupid that I am literally crying right this very fucking moment. It's not suppose to be that sad but I don't know why I am stupidly crying.  The situation doesn't deserve it, really. But my hormones told me to let it out! My god. But at least I have a reason to be sad rather than be sad without any reason at all. That'd be weird.

My one not so good reason for wetting my pillow with tears tonight is that this news that I heard earlier. We were doing the experimentation on our thesis at Veterans when suddenly the staff came in and blah blah blah they talked to our groupmates who are currently working there...one of the staff is a batchmate of the guy that I am weeping about. The guy that I have mentioned in my earlier blogs for a few times. And my friend asked that staff about the guy. Then she went in and told me what she (the staff) said. The fucking news was broken to me like normal stuff...course it wouldnt bother them cause this shit aint no big deal to anybody else but me. But honestly, it made me sadder than having to know that the most recent guy that I like is engaged.

Why do they have to exist?! Why does it have to be kind of genetic?! And of all the peoplein the world, why him?....

I may be way too over dramatic but the moment the news was broken, I felt heavy on the inside...we may not have met yet, but my hope was still up til tonight. :'(

Saturday, February 2, 2013

The Specialty today..SOUP. :)



IT IS AN EXIT REQUIREMENT. It’s what every graduating student is getting stressed out for. In our case, med-tech interns, aside from the never ending makeups on duty, the one thing that keeps our mind preoccupied is our THESIS. Right now, ours isn’t in a pretty good shape. We thought it was, so we were confident that our leader could save us. But we were totally wrong after our defense today. It was a disaster. Sabaw. Ginisa with pawis and kaba haha Although, despite the bad things, good things still try to peak through. Hey, it’s the first week of February and we already had our defense. Bad thing though that we had to repeat the experimentation. But at least we knew it earlier rather than having the defense on the latest date and finding out that we have to re-defend later on. That would be a big hassle.

So then I thought to myself.....

     In every bad thing that happens, there is still a good stuff stuck with it. So cheer up! J Take a deep breath and do something that would make you feel good (read a book, watch a movie, eat ice cream, hit the gym, or whatever…haha). Allowing yourself to relax may help you find a way out of your problem. J

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


So this is it…In a few months I’ll be wearing my 2nd to the last toga. Yup. You’ve read it right. Second to the last. And that is simply because I am planning to pursue medicine after I graduate. And I am really hoping to get into UST med school not only for being one of the best in medical courses in the Philippines and the world, but because it has become my home for the past 8 years. We had our graduation picture taking couple of months ago and here’s a glimpse of them…


and here's the very chique formal photo
and we have a fashion shot...
and the crazy creative shot....well I was indecisive for this and I was thinking about Tomb Raider or a Greek goddess...but nah...greek goddess has a  softer look so I ended up with it.
few shots were really awkward cause I am not used to this thing neither have I practiced posing the night before! haha so yeah...just thought it'd be cool to post them somewhere apart facebook. :p

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Sixth Sense


      Most people are blessed to be born with the complete senses: sense of sight, of hearing, of smell, of touch, and of taste. While others are just unfortunate to be lacking one or maybe two of these. And unfortunately, the people who have perfect senses forget to value every single one of them. They abuse them, put them into wrong use, blah blah blah...so when they lose one of them, they regret it. All these senses have one thing in common, though. They all are on to tangible objects. You can see food, hear it cooking on the pan, you eat it with your bare hands and finally taste it. But there is one sense, the sixth sense as I call it, that is above all these. And by that I mean it can sense other things intangible. It senses beyond that.


      It is the sense of feeling...you get what I mean, though, right? The five other senses are produced from certain organs like the eyes, ears, nose, skin, and tongue. But can you guess where the sense of feeling comes from? That's right. It comes from the heart. Well, scientifically speaking this is bullsh*t. But from an ordinary person's point of view, one will/may agree. The heart can practically do half of what your other senses can, like it can see, hear, or touch something or someone. And it doesn't need the eyes to see, nor the ears to hear, neither the skin to feel. Cause it just happens. It's a part of the complexity of being a human. 


PRECAUTION...the next paragraphs will get a lot cheesier than the first ones so if you're the person into it, then continue reading. But if you're not, I suggest you close this window. haha


     I have said that the heart does not need the eyes to see. And sure as hell it doesn't. Say you have a girlfriend, and you love her so dearly but your friends don't like her and they always convince you to break up with her cause she's no good for you. But lo and behold you guys are celebrating your what, 7th-ish anniversary? Why is that? It is because your heart sees beyond her. You see good things about her that your friends' ordinary sense of sight don't. 



     I also said that the heart does not need the ears to hear. True friends...they are the people who hear you weep even without tears falling down your eyes. They are the people who know you are sad even though you have a big perfectly shaped smile glued on your face for like the entire day. They don't need to hear the words for them to know what you're feeling. They just know. Cause they can feel it...they can feel something's wrong. Now that is how a real friend differs from a "friend" whom you met on the bangketa or somewhere else. I'm not gonna talk about categories of friends here, though. 



     I have also mentioned that the heart can touch something or someone. And people experience this whenever someone shares a story or when an unexpected person did something unexpected to make feel better, and others. For instance, the heart touches another heart by sharing one's story like what happened to Regine Velasquez's Silver concert. On the first concert, she got a lot of people crying in the crowd. Why? Because even though it was impossible for her to continue with the show due to her condition, still she went out on the stage and sing her heart out as good as her condition possibly can. And she used her baby boy and her husband to serve as her strength while doing the nearly impossible show. She was there sitting at the edge of the stage crying with her baby on her lap while singing beautifully from her heart. Then I hear people crying quietly, as well as my mom.


     And then at the end of the show while we were on our way to the parking my mom told us, "mararamdaman niyo rin yan kapag nanay na kayo." I totally understood what she meant though I didn't have a full grasp of the idea since I am not "them" yet. And as for the other example, well if you're watching Willie Revillame's noon time show, or those show like Wish Ko Lang, that would probably do. The heart touching another person doesn't need to be near them. As long it can make a connection, it will touch you how farther you may be. 



So the next time your teacher/person asks you how many senses you have, you know what to say, alright? hahaha kidding :P







Thursday, January 3, 2013

Is it real or just another crush?



I heard people say that a crush only lasts for about 3 months. More than that you’re already inlove. Well I really don’t know if that’s true or not. Personally, I have crushes that last as long as…10 years? Yeah…kind of stupid right? I don’t how I was able to hold on to that that long. But I just did. As long as they can brighten my day up, they may still be my crush.

Before “things” has happened to me, I only see the term crush as a part of growing up. All of us have it, even the little ones does. But as I grow up, and as I experience things (fall inlove, get hurt, then fall again) I start to realize the benefits of having a crush. But sometimes they don't only serve as our source of positive vibes, they could also be our reason for hiding from the truth because we've been hurt so much in the past we'd just want to settle in this no- strings-attached kind of thing. And let’s all be realistic cause most of the time we don’t end up dating our crushes. Lucky for those who does, though.

Anyway…let’s proceed to the PROS and CONS.

PROS:
That person gives us that special feeling (almost or maybe comparable to the feeling given by a special person whom you may be in a relationship with ) without the headache that real relationships give. It is kind of childish but admit it, IT’S FUN. It’s almost kinda like playing safe. Especially for those who are afraid to get hurt (like me I guess). It’s like holding onto something imaginary but still it can keep you going. It’s like finding a reason or a thing that can make you’re entire bad day shrink and can finally pull the corners of your mouth into a smile. That blood rushing through the vessels of your cheeks, that heart skipping a beat, all are clichés but definitely are true. And those things make you happy. Sometimes, it could even bring the best out in one person because they wanted to either 1)impress him/her or 2) be in his/her level or 3) get his/her attention. And it won't be necessary to recover from a fight or worse a breakup cause those will never occur. You’re off the hook from pain. Although one thing you have to face is that he/she may never be yours. Now that is one of the cons.

CONS:
Im just going to run through the cons cause nothing could be said more about these things cause they are rational. They don’t need a flowery presentation like the pros. Haha they’re almost like a fact you know.
• it’s stupid, especially when that person doesn’t even know you exist
• it’s kinda like having an imaginary friend
• he/she will never be there for you when you need him/her (unless s/he is a friend) if you’re not in his radar that is
• it can be pretty tiring
• you’ll become smarter than the FBI in finding info (that’s not a good thing cause it’s kind of creepy)
• you will neither be geniunely happy nor genuinely hurt
• you’ll miss out the fun of dating cause all you can do is stare :))

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happy Holidays! (I guess?)


This is gonna be a bummer so I’d rather go to 9gag than read this blog, my own blog haha Anyway….we’re few of the lucky UST interns who experienced a Christmas/New year break. It’s the one and only highlight of my stay at EAMC. The ONLY ONE.  Cause apart from this break, there’s really nothing else aside from the very systematic protocols…oh nevermind. I’m not blogging this to bash EAMC lab. Haha To continue to the real story, I am just going to bum you, the reader, whoever you are :P, by sharing with you my very short story of how I spent my Christmas break and my New Year’s eve.
To start off, I had a pretty long Christmas break. Well not long enough compared to the undergrads, but just enough days off from duty. Guess what…we stayed at our newly built house in QC for the entire Christmas/new year break. Yey for that. However, since it’s new, we don’t have internet connection (so my laptop is only good for watching movies -.-) and cable yet. So can you visualize how I spent days without those, which by the way are my life at home in Avida. For three days without them, I managed to find every unknown movie in my dad’s hard drive. Then after 3 days, tadaaaa! The cable was on! Oh yeah. J So half of my life is back. To cut it short, here’s how I spent the supposed-to-be-5-day-break that I converted into seven (hihi :>):  tv-movie-eat-book-sleep. For one week, that’s all I was doing. Haha


Paskuhan: Must be the most boring paskuhan I have ever attended. Although the good thing about it was that we did not have that much of a hard time finding each other. But it was genuinely boring that my friends and I stayed at the lover’s lane and sat there cause the place is too crowded you wouldn’t want to walk around just to bump onto people you pass by. And can you believe that I spent half of the time staring at people and things? Well half of it is spent on taking pictures and a little bit of chitchatting. And to put the cherry on top, I even got scolded before my night ended. It was not my fault though. But I’m not blaming anyone. Haha just saying. So yeah..and the fireworks were okay. But it’s simpler compared to last year cause the 400th year celebration was over.

On Christmas eve: well, we just slept through it. We didn’t have the traditional noche Buena at 12am cause it’s just me, my mom, and my sister and brother. All my mother’s side relatives are in Bulacan. But they were here the next day and stayed for 2 days. It was pretty fun and I missed my cousins.  For the past 19 years, we always had noche Buena in our house on Christmas eve. It’s kind of a new thing for me to just sleep through it so I had this grumpy adjusting period. Haha But I had fun that Christmas night when my tita treated us with starbucks haha The picture is a bit messy though haha



After all these, I went back to duty last Dec. 29. I was forced to go even though I was planning not to because of the 1:15 makeup threat.
New Year’s eve: So I’m on an AM duty the next day so I kind of need to sleep early tonight. All the fireworks are going on while I am typing this but sadly I’m gonna have to sleep afterwards.  And yes, we are just going to sleep right through new year’s eve AGAIN. So it’s starting to get really frustrating and I really don’t like this. If not only for that 1:15 makeup, ay jusko po.